My excitement and interest in things is often followed by panic. The overwhelming feeling can blind me if I let it. But I can’t, so I won’t. I plan and over plan and try to order the chaos into a predictable pattern like shining light through a prism and catching a rainbow. Lately, I have had many prisms gathering my chaotic light. But instead of catching my rainbows, I have stood too long admiring their beauty. So now that the light is beginning to fade, I am trying to gather all the colors in their different degrees of vanishing. I want to panic because sometimes dissolving the light settles me. I don’t like the darkness, but it soothes me until I see the light, hang my prisms, and watch the colors fall into place.